Because life is a series of edits

Caption Contest

In Pop Culture, Westminster on February 28, 2008 at 5:59 am

The picture below was recently published in Westminster‘s 2008-2009 course selection handbook for parents and students. As a result, I’ve been getting grief (“You look like you’re doing a magic trick,” “Vanna White has competition,” etc.) ever since, mostly from colleagues, family, and others who claim they care for and love me.

Because I’d hate for them to have all the fun, here’s my gift of cheap entertainment to you: a caption contest. The rules:

  1. Enter your best caption (you may enter as many times as you like).
  2. Be nice (or at least not crude).
  3. Contest ends Friday (or until my feelings get hurt).
  4. Winning entry will be determined by my wife (which disqualifies her caption of choice: “Do the Hustle”).
  5. No prizes will be awarded (other than that of your own fun at my expense).

Last qualification: If this post seems overly self-serving or narcissistic, please accept my apologies. However, rather than go away mad, why not take your anger out by leaving a scathing (yet creative) caption? Just think of it as cheap therapy.

But enough about me; what do you think about me? Here’s the pic – happy captioning:

Craig Teaching

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  1. Always looking for another book deal.

  2. Emerging, emergent? What’s the difference? Just ask Craig.

  3. Think Charlie Brown:

    wah wahhh wa wahh wa wah wah wah wahhh waa

  4. “Who pulled my tail?”

  5. “Nothing up my sleeve…”

  6. the apostles caught 153 fish, but they were only this big.

  7. Voodoo Economics…Anyone….Anyone….Fry? Fry? Fry? Fry? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

  8. What do you mean ‘what was I thinking when I released my album’? And what does that have to do with Matthew?

  9. My respect for your opinion would fit in this box.

  10. I don’t know nuthin’ about Barth, but I did stay at Holiday Inn last night.

  11. Nurse, if you think I’m going to perform this appendectomy in a sport coat and without gloves, you’re nuts.

  12. “The sustain…listen to it.”

  13. If you just watch my compelling hand gestures maybe you won’t notice that I’m not wearing pants.

  14. Craig Dunham introduces the new iPod Invisa: “It’s floating.”

  15. You put your left hand in, you take your left hand, you put your left hand in and you shake it all about.

  16. i swear the fish was this big… well ok maybe it was a little bigger…

  17. Now, these…are spirit fingers!

  18. Women are from Venus, Men are from mars, Professors are from Pluto.

  19. Hey ladies, Whats goin on?

  20. I’m a starship unicorn

  21. i love you thiiiis much..

  22. oh yea, what have you done in your life?

  23. “And this makes Allan Stanwyck a polygamist, even in Utah.”

  24. Look, there’s an eye,
    Hey, there’s another eye,
    Hey, there’s a third eye,
    cause triops has tree eyes, triops has three eyes.

  25. I once caught a fish . . . this far from shore?!?

  26. Craig thinking to himself, “I hope it’s just gas.”

    I mean really, check out the smile–something’s going on!! :)

  27. “Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto.”

  28. The doctor didn’t make it in time. My wife gave one amazing push and I caught the baby expertly as she came flying out.

  29. “… and that’s when I stole Rob Bell’s glasses.”

  30. “…and if I stand just like so… you’ll notice that the lines behind me perfectly align with the curvature of my body.”

  31. “… and that my young friends is why you should all be infralapsarians.”

  32. “..and that’s when I pulled out of the Presidential race.”

  33. “no, i swear i had a righteous, flowing mullet at least this long…”

  34. i haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. i bow to the cleverness of your readers. i see you don’t get much respect:) m

  35. Indeed, I have very clever readers (though I’m a pretty easy target – the Rodney Dangerfield of the blogosphere, I like to think).

  36. “…on the other hand….no, over HERE.”

  37. “Darn. I forgot what I was going to say, and I’m already mid-gesture.”

  38. I feel like life is changing, and it all depends on this little box…..

  39. thinking to himself . . . “Man, I really look good in brown.”

  40. Wait a sec! Wasn’t I holdin’ a small child just a second ago?

    (Too bad I missed the deadline. I’m sure that one would’ve won.)

  41. If you’re constipated and you know it, clap your hands…

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