Because life is a series of edits

Hitting the Digital Trail

In Politics on February 13, 2007 at 2:08 pm

Since my formal announcement on Sunday, it’s been an exciting few days of campaigning: I’ve had six comments, over 200 page views, and Mitt Romney has since become yet another official contender for the Presidency. There’s no doubt this is going to be a fast-paced race.

That said (and despite my eager-but-not-even-hired-yet campaign manager’s statement in the previous post’s comments), I’d like to take a few minutes to personally address Nick’s questions pertaining to his (and I assume, every other twenty- and thirty-something’s) most pertinent issues. Nick writes:

  1. Gas prices are bad, but what are you going to do about coffee prices (over $3 for a 12 oz. mocha!!) and movie ticket prices?
    As I don’t drink coffee myself, I can only encourage my constituency to make milk their morning beverage of choice, as for the same price as that $3 12 oz. mocha, you can get an entire GALLON of milk (and maybe a donut to go with it). As for the high movie ticket prices, I would direct you to enjoy the benefits of your public library.
  2. Who was better: James T. Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard?
    While Picard’s a prettier Admiral, there’s no replacement for Kirk’s sheer instincts in space. I like to think of myself as a good cross between the two.
  3. Will you support legislation to require MTV to start playing music videos again?
    Absolutely, but only videos made and played between the years 1981-1991, as this avoids the soon-to-be-on-the-scene grunge, boy band, and pop tart video eras.
  4. Will you do something about “illusionist & stunt performer” David Blaine?
    It’s obvious Blaine’s exhibitions stem from a need for attention and a curiosity as to the degree of mind-numbing exploits the public will endure. Ten years of hard labor should solve both problems.
  5. Boxers or briefs?
    There are pros and cons to either, which is why I wear both (often at the same time).

Thanks, Nick, for your questions, and I hope I’ve given you a few good reasons to vote for me. If anyone else would like me to codify my platform with regard to your issues of interest, leave a comment and I’ll be glad to answer it.

(Note: Despite what my overzealous campaign manager communicated, we’ve scrapped the idea of the whole Dunham2008 website-thingy and are handling all correspondence through the blog – it’s just more personal that way.)

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  1. I tell you, candidates today – there’s just no managing them. That’s what’s wrong with politics – people no longer listen to their handlers.

  2. And that is precisely why he is the perfect candidate. He doesn’t have to wait for the spin doctors to print out his response – he’s speaking for himself (that, and a well developed sense of enunciation and pronunciation – this guy’s the one, I tell you).

  3. I will consider voting for you Craig. I need to know however, if you can put a chicken in my pot, in my kitchen? If you do, where would said chicken be coming from? Would it be a free range chicken or an enslaved chicken raised in a large corporate conglomerate chicken house, fighting for its space and human rights on the floor of an overcrowded, cold, damp, dark, and demeaning den of death? Could I get a chicken that come home to roost? I know there are many questions here, I’ll give you time to think about this and answer….

  4. Michael, I’d be glad to put a chicken in your pot/kitchen. Just tell me when a good time would be and I’ll be over. As to where the chicken would come from, I suppose that depends where you bought it, so you’ll have to answer that yourself.

    Not sure on how to get a chicken to come to roost. I grew up on a hog farm, and all it took was shaking feed in a bucket and they came running.

  5. I’m delighted with this announcement and enthusiastic about the emerging platform you will build.

    Do you plan on staying caucasian or will you be switching ethnicity?

    What do you think is government’s appropriate role in my bedroom? What if you don’t agree with our choice of drapes?

    Have you considered any campaign slogans?
    “White Trash to the White House”
    “Elect a Melancholy Romantic”

  6. Glad to hear your enthusiasm for my campaign, Mitch (I’m beginning to lose mine already). Anyway, regarding your questions:

    I’m taking a page from the playbook of my opponent, Barack Obama, and not making race an issue, at least not personally. While most people probably think I’m white, there is some controversy as to how white I really am (it’s a smaller story, but I’m sure you’ve been following it). All that to say, because I’m white, feel free to color me any color you want.

    For a variety of reasons, I’d rather not think about your bedroom (drapes or otherwise). Not sure the government should either, but that’s probably another blog post.

    As to campaign slogans, I appreciate your proposals, as what they lack in appeal, they certainly make up for in accuracy. I’ve not thought too much about this aspect of my campaign for reasons of keeping it personal (and not slogan-driven), but I’ll give it some thought.

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